Leave my life
by RAbbitDuceLive
Summary: "Leave my life, it's better for both of us" my fantasy about what could have happened after Maura told Jane not to touch Doyle, post 2x15 Rated T just for safety :
1. Welcome to the army

_**Nothing belongs to me but my storyline. So please don't sue :'(  
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_**Hey guys, this is actually one of my first writings that i actually find a nerve to upload. I hope you will enjoy this piece of writtin' I will se how the reviews are and then see if i should continue or not. Should you find yourself interested in the story please tell me what outcome you would like. Jane and Maura staying best friends or would you like me to make them a couple.**_

_**Tanks again and hope you enjoy this.**_

_**Lara**_

_**xoxoxoxo**_

It was a week ago, when Maura was assaulted several times by a crazed Fireman. It was also a week since Jane has shot her father. Maura still remembered those harsh words she said to Jane back at the warehouse.

"Don't you dare touching him" Maura said with a death glare towards Jane, who was knelt beside her with her jacket pressed up to Doyle's wound. The look on Jane's face said it all. It was a mixture of fear, sympathy, apology and love. The last one confused Maura all the time, but she diced now was not the time to deal with that.

"Maura, I..I.. I'm sorry, I he raised his gun at m..." Jane started to apologise, but it was too much for Maura to take right now, she had to be mad at Jane right now, needed to. Even though deep down she knew that Jane only acted out of reflex when Doyle raised his gun at her, she couldn't just yet forgive her friend for shooting her father.

"Jane just NO, just not now Jane, i do not want to hear any of it, leave me alone, leave my life, that's best for both of us" Maura sharply cut her off, removing that sympathetic hand that found its way on her shoulder. Jane looked at her that one last time, before turning to Frost, tears daring to spill but not showing. She nodded at him and stormed right out of that ware house past Frankie and Korsak that only just now appeared on the scene.

"Hey, Jenie, how's Mau..." Frankie was cut off by Jane storming right past him with unreadable expression

"What's up with her?" Korsak, confused by the whole situation directed his question at still standing there, shocked, Frost. Frost in turn nodded towards Maura still tending to Patrick Doyle's wounds and murmured "Later, guys".

Maura took a week off after the incident to relax and prepare herself for work. Jane however disappeared without as much as showing herself at the station once. Her partners and brother started to worry but figured she just needed time to cool off so they left her be.

It was her first day back, and Maura figured she should apologise to Jane for her outburst. To be honest with her self she missed Jane like crazy this past week, but figured it would be best for the both of them to take some time to each other. But today officially became the day when Maura couldn't take any more of not being with Jane. So she bought everybody their favourite coffees in a ridiculously over priced cafe and made her way to the station.

Frost was the first one to recognize that click clack of designer heels that was Doctor Isles, he always had a crush on her, and no one couldn't blame him. The way she dressed, the way her hips swayed just enough to be sexy yet stay professional at the same time. Her perfect honey- blonde hair that fell just below her shoulders. She was perfect and he wasn't the only one who fallen for the honey- blonde beauty

"Hey Doc, you finally back, I trust your feeling better yeah?" he asked smiling whole heartily when she walked into the view.

"Yup Doc, we all been worried sick about yer, you know" Frankie chimed in from his chair next to Korsak's desk.

"Thank you gentlemen, I am indeed feeling much better and am ready for work, Oh and i brought all of you your favourite coffees" she smiled, that gorgeous smile of hers, literally reaching her ears. It dropped as soon as she noticed her favourites detectives desk empty aside from one folder that was one the desk. Jane indeed had the highest closing rate in the whole city.

"Oh, where is Jane? Is she running some errands or something?" Maura directed her questions at no one in particular but leaned on Jane's desk to give out coffees to her friends.

"Hm, yeah, about that, we haven't seen her since...well, for a week, really..." Korsak said after taking a long sip of his favourite coffee.

"And you won't for at least 2 more years Sergeant" said Cavanaugh from behind Forst, Korsak and Frankie. Everybody turned around with confusion written all over their faces.

"What do you mean sir?" all 3 of the men attacked their superior with questions.

"Relax you three, turn the news on, its bound to be there already" he said, passing through them to land on Jane's chair and turn towards TV.

Frost grabbed the remote and turned the news channel on. It didn't take long for them to hear the next line of the news casters.

"...now, is what I hear true Mike, Boston finest detective Jane Rizzoli was recruited 3 days ago and is already deployed in Iraq?

" Indeed it is Stan, detective Jane Rizzoli detective with the highest case closing rate in Boston was deployed in Iraq 2 days ago, she was also promoted to lieutenant and was given a group of recruits to train in hand-to-hand, shooting and survival in the war zone really."

" oh my God those poor lads, we all know how she tackles those burglars and murderers, what will happen to those poor recruits if they disobey command, only God knows."

" HA, indeed thats true Stan, in fact we have a correspondent, reporting from the base Rizzoli is deployed at, lets have a look shall we?... Michele, you there?

"Yes! Hello Mike, Stan... I am here in Iraq, at USA base where new recruits are being brought in and trained. Weather is absolutely deadly even to make one star jump, and recruits are all trying to find a shadow to hide in. They haven't met their commander yet, this is their first hand-to-hand session in the army. It is also Jane Rizzoli's first time teaching in the army; let's see if both parties can handle their new positions."

Camera shifted to a circle of recruits surrounding a dummy and moaning about how hot it was outside and how they will die out of thirst rather than an enemy bullet. The tent behind them snapped open and they all rushed to stand in a column to greet their new commanding officer. What they were not expecting was to find a tall, lean woman standing in front of them in a pair army printed trousers that were tucked in black army boots, black vest top tucked into the pants, an army cap with a pony tail sticking at the back of it and to finish the picture plain black aviator glasses looking at them. A round of, no ways, catcalls and wow's filled the air but Jane not as much as smiled once. Instead she walked to the centre of the group and cleared her throat.

"This is army and not stables! You are here to learn how to protect your country from the enemy. This will not be easy, and I will have no distractions! This is where it all begins, it will be tough and I suggest whoever thinks they cannot do or take it step up right now and leave back to their families. You must be prepared to either lose it all or gain new things. You life will be on the line from now on. Life or death. You have to make this choice right now. Because I, cant make it for you. I left everything behind me in Boston when I enlisted. And i know how hard it can be, so i give you a chance to rethink your decisions and leave while you still can. Questions?" For Jane it wasn't an honourable speech to make sure that those men and women understood the risks of this path they taken, no, it was to make sure that they, like her, don't regret leaving everything behind once they decide to stay.

"I have a question ma'am" said one of the muscular recruits.

"Shoot, Chico" said Jane looking right back to him when he stepped out of the crowd of recruits.

"Well, seeing as this is the only chance I will get once we start the training, I have to ask, does she taste good?" he asked with a giant smirk on his face.

"excuse me?" Jane shot right back at him, not liking where this conversation was leading.

"ooh, you know, the pathologist, Mira, Maura something like that, i mean don't get me wrong, its a great piece of arse you have yourself there, im just saying you know, may be if you can share the goods with the rest, that'd be gr..." he didn't get to finish his sentence when a fist found its way right between his eyes.

"Lesson number one recruits, element of surprise is your best friend"

"You stupid lessy bitch, I'll get you for that" he got off the ground and launched himself at Jane

"Lesson number two, be quick in your movements" just as he was about to knock her out, she dogged out of his way and he fell on the ground from lost balance.

"Lesson number three, use environment to your advantage." As he turned to get up, Jane scooped some sand in her hands and threw it right in his face, stunting him and causing him to fall to the ground yet again.

"Uuugh, you stupid dyke whore, playing dirty like a bitch you are" he was desperately trying to get the sand out of his eyes.

"Lesson number four, make sure he is not getting up" she walked right to him and pressed her feet to his chest, he stopped squirming and opened his still watery and sore eyes to look at her.

"Fine, fine, i am sorry ma'am that was over the line, i apologise for ever saying this, I will undergo punishment" he cried out in pain as she kept on pressing her foot to his rib cage.

"Lesson number five, give him a piece of your mind... Now Chico i want you to listen to me and listen very carefully. You will never again speak of Maura to me or to any one else here ever again. She is an extraordinary person you will never be, and I will have none of your walking around here talking about her like she is a piece of meat for sale. How dare you assume that should I be so lucky to have a woman like Maura to be by my side I will trade her in like a cheap piece of scrap. She was and remains the best thing that ever happened to me. I love her as my best friend, and somewhere along the line I let myself fall in love with her completely and that almost got her killed. I will do anything to protect her in any way I find necessary. And you will never again disrespect the woman I love the most in this damned world, have I made my self clear?" Jane looked down at the squirming recruit underneath her foot.

"Yes ma'am, never again in my life ma'am" he practically breathed out under her crushing force.

"Good" she removed her foot from his chest. " This will be it for today's training solders, wrap it up here, help him to clear up and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow at 6 hundred exactly. Dismissed!" and with that she retired right back into her tent with a straight back and hands in her pockets like a street punk. Recruits looked in awe at their new commander and knew that if they failed to save their country under the command of Jane Rizzoli then world is truly lost.

Inside the tent, Jane took a picture out of her back trousers pocket and looked at it. It was a picture of her and Maura hugging each other and Maura giving her a peak on the cheek. It was taken by her mother at one of their usual after work gathering at the Dirty Robber. Jane looked at it and smiled a sad smile.

"I did what you asked me to do Maura, I left so you won't get hurt again, but that doesn't mean I don't regret doin' it. I miss you like crazy every passing day. I love, and I hope you'll be fine without me. I love you." Jane kissed the picture and quickly folded it back in to her pocket and retired to her bunk.

Back in Boston PD tears were running freely down Maura's face as she listened to Jane's words. How did she not see this, how did she miss this, and most importantly why didn't she tell Jane she felt the same way. That stupid logic of hers. This was the first time it was wrong and on something really big. Everybody saw it but her and Jane, they were oblivious, they just enjoyed each other any way they could and missed the obvious signs, grew used to all the flirtation that has been going on between them.

Maura sobbed.

"Hey, now! It's okay Doc, its only two years, she will be back and then we can all go back to Robber and make her buy us drinks until we pass out. She loves you okay. That means she will be back, she always comes back to you. She loves you!" Frankie hugged Maura for comfort. She just let herself cry until it left such a big stain on Frankie's shirt that she couldn't see where it began and ended.

"I hope you are right Frankie, I hope you are right. I didn't mean for her to go away permanently like this. I love her too much to lose her like this." She wiped the last of tears and mascara off of her face.

"She will be back; she can't be away from you for too long, trust me I know" and with that he took Maura by the arm to escort her down to his car and take her home. She needed the rest, even if she won't admit it.

_**So what do you think? Continue or not? And if yes then what outcome would you like? Friends or a couple?**_


	2. Regrets

_**There it is guys, Chapter 2, what do soldiers think about before going into the fight. hope you enjoy reading this. I will make it as if Jane's unit is followed by a reporter to make a live army show, thus resulting in Jane kind of communicating with Maura through her TV. Hope you enjoy this. please do let me know what you think.**_

_**Lara**_

_**xoxoxoxo**_

Regrets.

Even though she was exhausted that night, Jane couldn't sleep. It wasn't the fact that they were in a middle of nowhere in their sleeping bags with rain and sticky sand all over them that kept her awake, no, it was the fact that nearly 2 months ago she abandoned everything that tied her with her old life in Boston. But most of all her life with one Doctor Maura Isles, the best thing that ever happened to her. Jane made it clear for herself, she loved Maura like her friend like her sister, and there could never be anything else between them. But who was she kidding, it was impossible not fall for her best friend. And now she was angry, angry with her self for being such a chicken and never revealing her true feelings to Maura. She missed her, even her ridiculous facts that she just tended to spat out. Oh man, what wouldn't she give away just hear that Google mouthing again. When was it that it all started? When did she start to feel jealous of all these men that Maura kept on going out with? No matter, she needs to forget, she needed to protect her country. And here she was in the middle of desert with five of her best recruits and a camera crew. When did army become Hollywood. Oh well, she guessed it was only fair that people learn what is it that actually happens in warzone. Right now she was on the watch out while her team got a quick nap before going in hot and heavy.

"Times like these, what is it a soldier is thinking about?" asked a reporter sitting opposite her, in between them fire made cracking sounds of logs breaking.

"huh? Sorry, what was that?" Jane dazed out of her thoughts and looked at the reporter sitting opposite her.

"I asked, times like these, what does a soldier usually think about?" reporter asked scared for his life about asking the wrong question at the wrong time.

"Everyone is different, everybody has their own story. But usually its regrets" Jane said with a sad smile on her face, looking nowhere but the fire.

"Regrets?" reporter pushed carefully, if he was careful enough, this would make a great story and a documental movie.

"Yeah, you know, things that they could have done differently, things they shouldn't have done at all or things they never got to do" last part came out nearly in a wishper and reporter instantly knew where to press.

"Do you have any regrets Lieutenant?" he asked carefully

"I have plenty" Jane sighed, before the reporter had any chance to even formulate his next question she did his job for him.

"I regret not being strong enough to admit my weaknesses, I regret never admitting how I felt, regret failing the one person that meant life to me, but most of all I regret hiding all of my emotions behind actions. People like me and those guys sleeping there on the ground, we give everything we had away and put our lives on the line because we think that there is nothing else left for us. We think that even if we die here and now no one will know and no one will miss us. We don't realise that by leaving everything behind we still hurt someone, be that family, friends or even pets. We leave thinking it will be best for everyone. Well truth is, it could be best for everybody else but its not healthy for us because even though we might seem thick skulled, stubborn and act now think later kind of people we are still gentle and sensitive. The only difference is we realise what we are missing when it's truly gone and out of reach." Jane took a bite of bread that was in her hand and drank some water out of the flask while still looking at fire that was making cracking sounds that were surprisingly relaxing.

"But Lieutenant, you only get deployed for 2 years; surely you can go back to your lives after that and finish or redo some of those things." Reporter, now genially interested in the conversation said to Jane. Surprisingly Jane smiled before speaking again.

"Hm, yeah, I suppose you could be right in that sense, however there is always a BUT in situations like those. Yes we can go back to our lives, but it will not be the same, we were gone long time and as much as we would want time to stay frozen and thing be exactly the same when we left, they won't. As time goes on things progress, yeah sometimes for the better but sometimes for the worst too. Let me give you an example, see Daniel over there" Jane pointed at the man quietly sleeping in his sleeping bag in a little ball. Reporter nodded. "Well his wife gave birth to their daughter yesterday, he missed a piece of him welcomed to this world, and now he won't be able to see her grow up from infant to a kid, he will blame himself for the rest of his life, he will just learn how to coop with it. Even though he never been as happy as he is right now, he also never been sadder than he is now. It's a mind trick really, you make yourself feel sad but happy at the same time and see which emotion wins." Jane took another swing of water and swallowed it in small but long sips.

"Now Marka over there" Jane pointed at a small woman curled up in between her 4 comrades, Jane smiled at the picture, Marka was always like a little sister to her friends and comrades and they made themselves her over protective brothers. "Her uncle died yesterday, her parents died when she was 3 and so he took her in, she grew up calling him dad, she just talked to him yesterday, and then BAM and heart attack, the next call she got was from morgue, it kills her to know that she won't be there for his funeral but she is also kind of happy that she won't be able to see him like this, mind games again. It's always like this in the army, you lose things but you gain new ones along the way." The reporter was on the edge of tears right about now. But Jane was not finished yet, she needed to get her regrets off of her chest. And so she started.

"You know for my entire tough act and 'I don't give a crap' attitude I most possible have more regrets then the whole our group combined together. I never went to university, just joined up to the academy and thought it will be easy to protect my country, thought I will die an honourable death, serving the country I loved with all my heart. But somewhere along the way I realised that no death is honourable enough if it hurts not only me, but other around me, I started to think what my family would feel like, my mother would most possible dig my body right up and kill me again. And I thought may be cop is not something I should be, but then again once a cop forever a cop, it became part of me and it will always be a part of me. I love being a detective, solving those puzzles putting the bad guys behind bars, but then somewhere along the way I fell in love, that stupid feeling when you feel like you can defeat the world because you have that one person you love. Well I didn't tell them how much they meant to me then, I just thought it's better to have them as a friend then risking everything by tellin' them how I felt, so I left it alone, buried it deep down in my heart, chained it. And then somewhere along the way I did a lot of stupid things, shot myself to save friends, was jealous of any contact they made with someone, fell even more in love everyday but didn't realise it and then just hurt them in a way that I don't think I will ever be able to fix. Yes I will return home one day, if I am not dead, but it will not be the same, our relationship will never be the same and I am not sure there is a relationship left to fix, somewhere deep down inside my heart I hope that there is still something worth fixing and that if it is possible I will do anything in my power to fix it. But right now its up to them to give it a thought and for me to survive this and bring my men home to their families and then I will deal with my personal drama." Tears were flowing freely from the reporters face now, he was not hiding his emotions any longer he just let them all out, never has he expected to be cracked open by emotions and simple words like that. Jane sat there looking at him sympathetically for couple more minutes before standing up and passing past him with last words.

"This is what we soldiers usually think about before goin' in a fight." She patted him friendly on the shoulder. "Call her as soon as you are back home, you deserve another chance, just don't fuck this up again, it's your last chance Mungo!" she winked at his shocked face, and clapped her hands together.

"Everybody up! We are moving out in 30 minutes" and with that she left the reporters side and went the river to fill in the flasks. Rounds of yes ma'am sounded through the night and recruits one by one started to pack their stuff up. Reporter sat there staring at the fire thinking to himself for at least 3 more minutes before murmuring to the camera man " I need to call Cindy, wait here I will be right back" and with that he stepped aside to make a call to a girl he so desperately loved for so long but never told her anything.

Next to the river, Jane took the picture out of her pocket and murmured to herself

"You keep me going, Maura! I really hope there still is a relationship that needs fixing." And with that she kissed the picture, placed it right back in her pocket and started filling the flask in.

On the other half of the world Maura Isles was watching TV with the Rizzoli family that she quickly started to call HER family, when they came across a live report from Iraq, USA marine base. After listening to everything Jane said, Maura quickly excused herself from the gathering, tears daring to spill. Everybody understood and just nodded, as soon as Maura reached her bedroom she collapsed on her bed and started sobbing in the pillow. It was not until 2 hours later that Maura was drained of tears and had no strength left to even move. So she just quickly slipped into one of Jane's jersey shirts, closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her, before she fell victim to sleep completely though, she murmured to herself just barely above wisher. "Yes, Jane, there is a relationship worth saving. And you better make it out alive." And with that she let the sleep overtake her.

**_And there it guys, let me know how you feel about this._**


	3. We die here, together!

_**Here it is guys, Chapter 3, sorry if it is a bit boring, i just needed to get it off of my chest. please do speak your mind when reviewing. Next Chapter is where we finally see soldiers get home. I will update as soon as i can. **_

_**Lots of Love**_

_**Lara**_

_**xoxoxoxo**_

It was 8PM when Maura finally made it home from yet another tiring day at BPD, 2 autopsies, countless tests and never ending paperwork was out of the way, so she hoped to stay in tomorrow and just go though any medical journals that were neatly situated in her TV table. Today however she was going to pour herself a glass of wine and watch a live from Iraq, USA marine base. So she poured herself a glass of vine and plopped down on her couch, couch that so many times fell victim to beer stains that were left there by Jane, not happy with the outcome of the game. Maura smiled at that thought and hoped that in the next 1.5 years everything will be back to normal, she and Jane would be seated on this couch; Bass will be under the TV table hiding in his shell from Jo who will eventually get tired and retire to her doggy bed right to the left of the couch. Maura would put her head on Jane's shoulder and Jane would wrap her hand protectively around Maura's waist, and just when they would start to relax there would be a cry from the nursery indicating that their child was awake and in need of attention. Maura was practically grinning like an idiot to herself, when instead of live TV show the News came on.

"We are sorry to interrupt the program you were watching ladies and gentlemen but we have an important message coming through from Iraq, here it is for our corresponded Grand... Grand, you there?" the news caster looked disturbed and Maura's grin instantly left her face and frown appeared. The camera switched and Maura instantly recognized the reporter that was standing in front of camera, it was the same one that Jane opened her soul to just yesterday night, but instead of a clean, healthy man he looked beaten, dirt covered and exhausted. Maura's insides tied in a knot, she had a bad feeling about this and she did not like where this was headed.

"Ye...yeah...I am here Mike, excuse my looks i am just a little shaken that's all, as you might recall i am here to film and feed a live show about lives of soldiers inside of war zone, yesterday was the most disturbing and scary day of my life, as we were making our way to the enemy camp, Lieutenant Jane Rizzoli had a bad feeling about the whole field being so clear and so we made camp, and were given her strict orders not to leave unless we get a good to go from her. We were also given strict orders that if the green flair goes up we need to make our way back to the base immediately and with no questions. Of course nobody was expecting to see a green flair go up so we just sat there sharing stories and preparing to get the mission done, then there was lightning, and rain but the walkie talkie was still silent, 13.46 minutes later we saw the flair go up, 5 soldiers I was left in company at jumped up and quickly put the fire down and packed their stuff in less than a minute, next thing i know I was dragged back to the base with storm of bullets flying right behind us. We hoped to find Lieutenant Jane here either before us or later on after us, unfortunately its been 6 hours and our hope to find her here were down and no one even hoped she was alive, but that's when we received a video tape with militia stamp on it. And this is what was on it.

Camera view changed to something that looked like a homemade video. Walls of the building looked old, made out of brick or just big rocks. But that was not what caught Maura's eyes. What did was Jane sitting on the chair bound by hands and ankles, Maura's eye went as wide as human's eyes could possibly go, without even realizing it she started to analyze Jane's injuries. A bullet hole in her shoulder, same on her upper thigh, her nose was probably either really badly dislocated or even broken, a big gash no her left eyebrow that would definitely leave a scar, her lower lip was literally cracked in half on the right side of her face, and finally judging from the way Jane was breathing heavily and squirming in her sit she had at least 3 broken ribs. Thats all the injuries Maura had time to see when the camera zoomed out to reveal a figure sitting opposite Jane. It was a man that much was clear, even though the man was wearing a mask, something about him was strangely and weirdly similar to Maura. Before she had time to analyse him however he spoke, but it was not a normal men's voice it was altered using a computer program. It reminded Maura of that voice she heard while watching SAW with Jane next to 6 months back.

"So, Lieutenant Detective Jane Rizzoli, how much will you sell your country for, I wonder? Would it be money, pain or exhaustion that would give you away, I wonder." The man chuckled at his own wit, it was making Maura sick, but she could only sit there and watch.

"You wonder too much for your own good, Gabriel, you always did." Jane said not even bothering to sit up and look him straight in the eye. Maura nearly fell off of the couch at revelation, of course Gabriel Dean, that's why that man looked so familiar, that body shape of a teen age boy; tall and skinny, that's where she knew the man from. He was shot by Doyle that day in the warehouse and was send to DC to recover, strangely enough no one knew or was contacted to know how he was doing.

"Who is Gabriel, and watch that mouth Rizzoli, it will get you in trouble" the man stood up and made his way behind Jane.

"Gabriel, please, spare me the time where I explain to you what I do for a living. Besides if you gonna catch and interrogate me, at least don't use that perfume beforehand it's enough to make puke all over this nice place and give away my countries secrets." Jane was cut off by a hand pressing down on her shoulder, right through just closed bullet hole. Jane grunted in pain by regained her composure quick.

"You know Janie, for someone with your brains I woulda guessed, you would know when to keep that mouth of yours shut and keep that sarcasm from spillin' outta it." Said man took the mask off and it revealed Special Agents Deans boyish features.

"Well looky here, the big bad boy Special Agent Dean using improper English, I thought I was the Italian here." That earned a slap that came right across the face and gashed Jane's eyebrow open and made her bite her tongue. She spat the blood out. And made eye contact with Dean.

"What is it with me and picking the wrong guys, you'd think I woulda learned that time Maura set me up with Nurse Jorje. Very well, what is it that you want Dean, and enough with all the hittin' and pushin' girl doesn't like that much attention." Jane said sarcasm dripping out of her mouth as she eyed Dean's reaction, truth was she knew somewhere along the way that he was not a normal guy, because, really, normal and her were 2 different things. Jane also knew exactly how to push Dean and she was determined to crack that son of a bitch open.

"Well truth is Janie, I am tired to live in a country that is always at war with another country so I thou..."

"Well move out then, there are plenty of countries in Europe that will take you I'm sure, they don't have enough of their own crazies, they might just take you up" Jane cut him off know that would piss him off, she was waiting for another slap, and literally saw his hand flinch, but that's when the rope that Jane was so desperately trying to get of off her hands with a nail she grabbed when she was drag into the room gave in. It took a second for Jane to bring her hands around and catch Dean's hand before he could have hit her. She twisted his arm and he fell to the ground grunting, thank god that bullet wound in his shoulder still was in recovery, times like this she was thankful to Patrick Doyle. She remembered that her feet was still bound to the chair, chair however was so old it was a miracle just to sit on it without it braking, so Jane stomped her feet with all of her strength and the front legs of the chair gave way and broke off, resulting in Jane finally freeing both her feet and deposing of what was left of the rope with her hands. She stood just in time to see Dean do the same, the next second both of them were staring into each other's eyes like predators eyeing their prey.

"What is it that you really want from me Dean, surely you know that I can't stop war, no one has that strength."

"All I wanted from you was family, I wanted you to be mine and you rejected me. Said, you couldn't with Hoyt around, and then he was gone and you still rejected every one of my dinner invitations. But this time it wasn't Hoyt that really was a problem; it was her, wasn't it? Doctor Maura freaking Isles, she was in my way, so I made her interrogate Hoyt, I made her a target but then she survived and that only made you two closer. I hate her you see, hate her for taking you away from me, but now...now you are mine, she hates you and she always will, you have no one there but me and me alone, its over Jane, give it up already." He smiled that damned smile of his, but Jane didn't notice, she was fuming, either he was going to die in this room tonight, or she will die trying to kill him. She swung her fist and it made connection with his forehead right between his eyes, he stomped back and made connection with the wall behind him. Jane stood there breathing heavily.

"You will never ever touch Maura or me again, you hear that you son of a bitch, you will stay right here in this country and I will watch you starve and die protecting it. This is what you swore to do when you joined up with FBI, you can't just throw your oath away now you worthless was of human flesh. You never had a chance and you never will have a chance against someone like Maura. Because she is caring, compassionate, beautiful, sensitive, understanding and ridiculously smart woman" while naming all of Maura's fine features Jane landed a blow to Dean's ribs, last one made him cry out in pain and land on the floor. "I'm gonna leave your worthless ass right here where it is, and you will answer to your superiors not me." And with that Jane picked up her army issued jacked from where the militia threw it, put it on and made her way to the back exit of the tent she was interrogated in for the last 5 or 6 hours. But before she could disappear, she heard Dean saying to her "If you won't be mine, you won't be anyone's." And with that he took a remote out of his pocket and pressed a red button, all Jane could manage was "Shit" before the whole building exploded and she felt sharp pain piercing the whole of her back. And the camera went dead...

"Back here at the base, search and rescue team was already send to the location of the explosion site and they should be reporting back to us shortly, Mike! All we know right now is that the whole camp was destroyed by the explosion and so far we only have 2 survivals in critical condition, both are experiencing 3rd degree burns and have minimal chances of survival, unfortunately neither one of the survivors is Lieutenant Jane Rizzoli, even though her dog tags were found on site there are way too many casualties to confirm what body is whose, Mike." The reporter said tears daring to spill from all the horror he's seen in the last few days. Truth was he came to really respect Jane and enjoyed having chats with Lieutenant. And he hoped even if it was worthless that her body wasn't among those caught in explosion.

"Thanks Grand, go rest kid, you've earned it after what happened. Search will continue until all the bodies can be identified, we will keep you all posted on the progress, thank you and have a good evening." And with that channel changed back to a chick fling Maura was watching. But she didn't pay no attention to it, she just sat there motionless tears streaming down her face, she only snapped out of it, when her front door swung open and Frankie appeared from behind it, tears streaming down his face just like Maura's. He closed the door and made her way to the couch and without another word scooped Maura in his hands, they sat there sobbing and crying together for at least 30 minutes straight, when Frankie finally broke the silence.

"She is alive Maura, I just know it, I can feel it, and they will find her Maura I am sure they will." She could only nod and kept on crying until both of them were so exhausted that they fell asleep in each other's comfortable embrace.

That was a year and seven months ago, Maura never missed a news report from then on, but with every passing day there was nothing new and started to lose her faith. And then came a report:

"US marines will be going home in two days time and boy aren't they happy about that, let hear what they have to say about that" camera shifted to man in his mid 30's who Maura recognized as Daniel from Jane's squad.

"Yeah I am happy to finally get outta here, see my girls, to finally get to hold my daughter in my hands and finally sleep on a normal comfortable bed. I just wish...wish Lieutenant was here with us." And with that the man blinked away the tears. Next, camera changed to Marka the only woman beside Jane on the squad.

"Of course I want to go back home, I will finally get to say good bye to my uncle the proper way, I just can't believe that Lieutenant won't be there with us, she saved our asses so many times and I feel like we failed her." After 3 more soldiers gave their answers, they were asked what was it that they are going to do first when they get back to Boston.

"Will will say out goodbyes to Lieutenant of course, she always talked about it, that if she was to be gone before we get home, that we all say good bye to her outside not in some church, so that's what we are going to do, say good bye as soon as we land. We want to ask her family to be there with us when we do so, we would like to pass our words of sympathy to them." Rest of the report Maura spend just looking at the picture on her bedside table, it was of her and Jane, sitting there cuddling on the couch when Angela snapped the shot. Maura smiled and cuddled in bed with the picture in her arms and fell asleep. But before she was completely over run by sleep she murmured those last words: "What have you done Jane? Come back! I love you!" and with that she fell into a peaceful slumber. Clenching on to the picture frame for her dear life.

_**There we go. Hope you enjoy**_.


	4. Welcome back, Soldiers

_**Here it is you guys. Last chapter for this story. But i have loads of fresh ideas if you want more stories. Just leave it in your feedback and I will se about writting another story if you like. As per usual this is not some hot stuff chapter, its just filled with emotions and feelings to one another. Hope you still enjoy, and tell me if you want more stories. See you soon hopefully. And happy New Year everyone.**_

_**Lara**_

_**xoxoxox**_

Today was the day. The day Maura dreaded would come for one year, nine months, 28 day, 6 hours and 36 minutes. She was literal when it came to anything related to work. But why was she literal right now? She did not know. She felt like her whole life was drained out of her. She sat there in her bathroom applying a little make up she was going to wear to Jane's funeral, No wait, this wasn't a funeral, just a way of celebrating Jane's achievements. Maura still couldn't believe Jane was dead, she didn't want to believe, but, truth was they still couldn't find and identify 5 bodies and so Maura's hope started to die down. With every single passing day without news Maura was one step closer to finally accepting that Jane was dead, but then Frankie would pull her right back to the right place saying "that Rizzoli's don't just disappear, we go down with a fight." As much as Maura protested he didn't want to hear any of it and so did she, really, but those thoughts confused her, so she just concentrated on immaculately putting her eyeliner on. Trying not to mess it up with her tears that so daringly wanted to spill.

30 minutes later Maura emerged from her bedroom dressed in a beautiful dark blue dress, Angela insisted that it wasn't a funeral and no way was any of them wearing black. She looked around and saw Frankie sitting on her couch blankly staring at the TV. He jumped a bit when he heard her move in her heels, and looked up at her.

"You know" he started and looked back at the TV, "I never used to cherish those little moments with Jane, like watching a game, her sarcastic comments, how she kicked Tommy's ass for making a move at you and how her and Ma always fight about babies and husbands." He blinked away the tears and swallowed heavily. "I thought it will always be like this, you know, me, her, Ma and her baby talk, Jane glaring at her with fake anger when in truth Jane loved Ma very much. I just can't believe it won't be the same anymore." She reached him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I know what you mean Frankie, and believe me I don't want to believe it will never be the same, but somewhere along the way we are going to have to, unfortunately." She said and he stood up and swept her in his arms, holding for dear life. They stood there like this for another minute or so and then pulled away.

"You ready?" asked Frankie wiping away reminder of his tears.

"Read as I'll ever be for this." Maura gave him a reassuring smile and closed her hand around his. He looked down at their intertwined fingers and knew that even though he desired to walk around with her like this being more than friends, she would never love him the same as she loved Jane. Truth was he didn't want that love anymore; he just wanted Maura to be his friend, because no matter how much he loved her, he loved her more now that she was a friend. He just wanted Jane back, but Maura was right, he had to accept the possibility that Jane could have been dead.

Three hours later every soldier was reunited with their families, hugs and kisses were exchanged and of course words of sympathy to those families that lost their close ones to this war. Maura was in company of Rizzoli's, Frost and Korsak, supporting Angela the best she could, when in reality she needed just as much support. Even Tommy was there, and for his entire tough guy act, today he was absolutely not himself, he had tears stains and he clutched onto the medal he once won with Jane. Yeah he could be sentimental when it came to family, and Jane, was the closest family he had, even when neither he nor she would admit in public. Together they were a killer team and both had medals to prove it, from school challenges. But this once in particular was the most dearest to him. They won it when they were in summer camp together, just him and her because Frankie was sick that summer. That was exactly when they developed that strong bond between one another. From then on the medal became something of a trophy for Tommy, and whenever he thought he needed Jane help, he would just clutch on to it. And today was the day he needed her the most. He didn't want to believe Jane was dead, hell, he won't believe until he, himself sees her body. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a male voice speaking to the whole family.

"Hello, my name is Daniel, and you must be Lieutenants Jane's family" the man shaked hands with every man in the Rizzoli clan and Frost followed by Korsak where as he took Angela's hand and placed it over his heart and smiled sympathetically while saying "I promise you ma'am, while this heart still beats, I will not stop looking for Jane no matter what. She introduced me to my wife and helped me a lot during duty. I will be damned if I don't find her and give her and you the peace both of you deserve. I was asked by Jane that if she does not make it here to pass these along to you and her brothers." He passed Angela letters that she and Jane exchanged while she was in the academy and army. Angela sobbed and Frank Sir grabbed her into a hug. Daniel then passed Frankie and Tommy medals Jane carried for both of them. There were 3 that were ever made, and all three were spread between the siblings, Tommy and Frankie exchanged glances and both sobbed. "I also have these, for Mr Vince Korsak and Mr Barry Frost" he asked and looked around.

"That would be us" said men said in unison. Daniel smiled and passed two envelopes to them.

"And I also have these for one Doctor Isles." He said and finally made eye contact with the blonde. He had to admit she looked stunning even for an occasion like this one. He could clearly see why his superior would fall for her. She was a looker and he had no doubt she was smart too, he remembered he from news papers, all listing her endless achievements and education, he smiled to himself, oh how lucky Jane was. He cleared his throat. "She didn't ask to give you anything in specific, but, I know for a fact she would like you to have these." And then she saw them, Jane's dog tags, and she couldn't hold her tears in any longer. "Thank you very much" was all she managed before finding herself in Frankie's protective embrace. "It was no trouble, I promise to you again I will not stop looking, none of us will", he turned his head towards Jane's unit and nodded and they all nodded back to the Rizzoli's and their friends. "But for now I will ask that you sit next to us while we deliver a speech, please?" everybody nodded and made their way towards their seats.

While everybody delivered their speeches Maura couldn't help but stare at the dog tags in her hands. She couldn't help but think that they were all that was left of Jane. Daniel was on stage talking about Jane from their whole unit, even though he had a smile on his face, Maura could tell tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. But then someone else made their way towards the stage.

"Jane Angela Rizzoli was not just my superior officer; she was also one of the best and loyal friends I've ever had in my entire life. I refuse to even think that she is dead until there is titanium proof of the fact. She saved me and our unit from dangerous situations, was always loyal to her country and orders, and never once did she leave her friends hanging. She was and remains one of the best detectives Boston has to offer, and I have no doubt that she was no less of a soldier. Hell, she was one of the greatest teachers I've ever had. In my eyes she was and remains young, ambitious and strong willed woman that deserves respect. Let us all remember her, now in this beautiful evening, but let's not forget that she can still be somewhere out there." and with that he turned to look out to the open field. There was a slight hill there, and when the sun was setting down it would disappear behind the hill, just like Jane disappeared from their lives. But then, something caught his eye. Moving towards them from the hill was two figures; one was obviously trying to force the other one to walk. It was a man and a woman. He recognized the man as that son of a bitch Dean that kidnapped Jane. Guess it was too much to hope for he died there and just burned to ashes. Woman on the other hand looked similar yet so unknown. She was wearing the same uniform as Daniel, but had a burette on that showed her pony tail just enough to make out the raven in her hair. He couldn't make out who the woman was as her burette covered the other half of her face.

"Move" said the woman and pushed Dean towards Frost and Korsak that were standing closest to the stage on the corner. All five of Jane's squad including Daniel stiffened, they hated the guys guts and now, finally he will get justice.

"This man is very dangerous and is wanted for crimes against his own country. You have our thanks for bringing him here. We will make sure you are highly rewarded for this after the ceremony is finished Mrs..." Daniel said from his spot over at the stage. He still couldn't make out woman's features as she was looking down and not meeting his eyes.

"Daniel, you wound me, all those months of training and friendship and you don't recognize me, I am truly hurt" said the woman still not looking him straight in the eye.

"Rizzoli, Jane Rizzoli is my name. So to disturb this little thing you have going here, but Dean here was about to run away on me, and I just had to bring him in."

"Well I'd be damned. I knew you were still alive you old hag. You could have phoned me you know!" He exclaimed and run over to Jane to take that damned burette off of her head.

"Now, now I am still your superior, so do not call me that in public soldier! As to phonin' yo..." Jane was cut off when strong arms wrapped around her and she was swung around.

"Shut up Jane, just shut up and let me see you." Said Daniel placing her to the ground, just when he placed her on the ground her team made it over to them and she was thrown into the air once again with shouts from crowd and her comrades "Horrraaaah!" "Welcome home" "We knew you were alive"

"Okay, alright put me down now, I just want to see my family now." Jane said and turned in the direction of her family that was still in awe. She jogged right up to them and was met by Tommy who practically tackled her to the ground followed by Frankie. "Hell, did you guys gain some weight; you are like hippos on the run, Jeez!" Jane complained but hugged them as fiercely as she could as if holding on to her dear life.

"Never do that again Janie." Both of her brothers said in unison not letting go.

"I don't plan to" Jane said braking of the hug, just to be met by another one from her mother and father.

"Never, ever scare me like this again missy. I did after all get stretch marks for you" Angela sobbed into Jane's shoulder.

"Ange!" Jane's father rolled his eyes but smiled.

"It's alright pop, she is right this time; I won't do this again Ma, that is a warriors promise." Jane said as she broke off and was met by Frost and Korsak giving her a high five and a few jokes.

"You coming back to work Jane?" Barry asked hope visible in his eyes.

"I will if Cavanaugh approves" she said hoping that was the case.

"You are on Rizzoli" Cavanaugh gave her a playful push from behind which startled her a bit.

"Damn your here too, sir. This must be pretty big." She said and nodded to him.

"Get back to work as soon as your ready Rizzoli, Frost here wouldn't let anyone even near your desk, so it's still the way you left it." He gave the younger detective a glare. Who just shrugged and replied. "You are the best, Partner." He said and smiled at Jane who returned the smile, but it faded nearly as fast as it appeared. "What's up kid?" Korsak asked.

"Maura, I want to see Maura right now. Where is she?" Jane frantically started to look around.

"She is right over there sis." Frankie said and pointed at Maura who was talking to one of the soldiers. "Careful sis, she will probably over react when she sees you."

"Thanks little brother."

And with that Jane made her way right up to Maura. This was like going right back to war zone, life or death situation. As soon as he saw Jane approaching, he excused himself from Maura hoping that he will pick on the pretty doctor later on.

"Maura..." Jane all but whispered. Maura spun around in a blink. Eyes wide with surprise.

"Jane..." was all Maura could manage before raising her hand and slapping Jane across the face as hard as she could. Boy, Jane was lucky they were isolated from the rest of the crowd, she would never live this humiliation down.

"Damn, shit, yeah I can see how I had that one commin', but Maura hear me out here, please." Jane looked at Maura and literally waited for another slap to land on her face. But it never came. Instead she found her hands full of one Doctor Maura Isles. And she did not care who saw them now, she held on for dear life.

"Jane, I was going crazy. I missed you, damn it, I thought you were dead. I never ever want you to disappear on me like this again, even if I threaten to kill you, do I make my self clear?" Maura mumbled into Jane's shoulder while sobbing.

"Yes Maura, perfectly clear. I was going crazy too; I missed you, very single day I thought how stupid I was for leaving like this. I thought I lost you forever, the best thing that ever happened to me. Thought I was never going to be able to talk to you again, and I needed to, I need you to know, that I love you, love you more than anything and I can't imagine my life without you in it, I want you to be with me as my other half. But if you refuse me I still want you to be in my life as my friend, Maura I refuse to live without you!" Jane cried first time after she left Maura two years ago, and she did not care who saw them now. All she wanted to do was take Maura home and start over, do things they used to do.

"Jane...I..I.. I love you too, and will not be in your life any other way buy your other half. I refuse this stupid logic of mine and your insecurities get in a way of a relationship that I know will work. From now on, I will be the controlling girlfriend, because I refuse to let you go again."

"Maura... Ar...Are you sure about this?" Jane asked, hoping Maura would not change her mind. Without any further notice their lips connected. Jane melted into the gesture. Maura's lips were soft and covered in peach lip gloss; Jane quickly decided it was her favourite taste from now on. Her hands that were still wrapped around Maura found themselves a bit lower on her wais, whereas Maura's found themselves around Jane's neck pressing them even closer. Jane pressed Maura flush against her and protectively wrapped her hands around Maura's waist, which earned her a moan from the usually so composed doctor. Jane smiled into the kiss hearing what she was doing to the doctor and quickly thought that it was her new favourite sound too.

"We need to get out of here before I lose myself Maura." Jane broke the kiss but still had her forehead pressed against that of a doctor.

"I think you might be right Jane, there is a 87% chance that someone will notice us any minute now and you know that 76% of work related relationships fail if the couple tells everyone about it straight aw..." Maura was silenced by yet another kiss from Jane.

"Gawd, I missed your Google mouth" Jane gave Maura one last kiss before she took her hand and led her right back to her family and friends. Maura just smiled and was led back by the woman she oh so loved and now that now was hers for keeping.

"Oh here you are Janie, we were just about to look for you." Said Angela and that earned an eye roll from the eldest Rizzoli child and a giggle from her brothers and dad.

"Yes, yes Ma i knooooow, listen me and Maura are heading home, because we are tired and sick of all this war thing. You should get home too, get some rest and I will be by tomorrow for that gnocchi of yours , sounds like a fair deal to you?" Jane asked smiling.

"Sure, I bet you girls need to catch up "wink "And sure, be there tomorrow at 2 and bring Maura with you, although I'm sure you girls will be connected to the hip from now on.

"You have no idea" Jane whispered to herself, which earned her a shove from Maura that suddenly flushed red. And with that Jane took her hand led her through the crowd, exchanging her good buys and see you later's with all of her friends and comrades. She gave one last look to Dean that was currently being loaded into a police van and gave Maura's hand a reassuring squeeze. And with that they left. Hand in hand.

That night, they lay in Maura's bed both exhausted after hours of endless love making. Jane laid on her back, with Maura against her side her head on Jane's chest, listening to her steady heart beat. Jane asked to keep her shirt on tonight, and Maura didn't understand why, but her desire to be with Jane won over her curiosity and she let it go. But now...now she wanted to know.

"Jane..." Maura started carefully, her hand slowly drawing patterns on Jane's shirt covered stomach.

"Hmmm?" came a reply.

"Why are you still wearing your shirt? I believe we are not equal at the moment." Maura looked down at herself naked, only cover by a sheet. That earned her a chuckle from the brunette.

"But I love it how you look naked. Like a painting, only you are mine and you are real, everyone can look, but no one but me knows what it feels like to use my brush on your surfaces."

"Jane, as flattered as I am, do not think that your charm can get you out of this topic, what is it that you do not want to show me" Maura was now very serious and Jane knew that she had lost this fight. She sighed.

"Remember that day when I went MIA?" Maura nodded, slight shiver taking over her body, she wanted to forget that day, but it seems that it would just keep on popping up from time to time.

"Well that bomb that went off, Dean made it himself, it wasn't designed to kill, just to do a lot of damage to a large area. So he smartly used nails for it, and so when the bomb went off..." Jane took a deep breath remembering the piercing pain she felt when the bomb exploded.

"The nails dug into your back didn't they?" Maura asked, breath shaky.

"Yeah, only 7 or so, I ducked behind the table just in time to stop the other 100 from piercing my back." Jane closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "But that's not the only reason I am wearing a shirt right now. You see when Dean and I escaped in the middle of the panic; we got into another one of those "boss fights" and he stuck a knife right through my freaking gut, it was there until some town folk found me and brought me to his hut and tended to me. He saved my life, I was out for nearly a month once he found and cured me. I promised I will help him out, and as soon as I am back to work I will, there is always need for good doctors, isn't there Doctor Isles." Jane put a protective hand around Maura's waist to hold her closer.

"Yes, yes there is Lieutenant Detective Rizzoli. So you have scars huh? You know I don't care right? I love you for who you are, and scars don't matter to me."

"I know that honey, I just don't want those memories to come back to me, while we are together you know, I want us to make our own memories instead of reliving the old ones. Okay?" Jane looked down at Maura looking into her eyes.

"Okay..." a deep kiss followed.

"You know we have a gnocchi night tomorrow, I missed those. And I missed a good bed, and this one is by far the best I've ever slept in."

"Well get used to it, you will be spending loads of nights in here with me Lieutenant."

"Oh I didn't tell you did I, they promoted me today, you know catching a conspirator and all, so I am now a Colonel, that includes a pay raise and they gave me a house. Pretty cool huh?"

"They gave you a house?" Maura was happy for Jane

"Yes, yes they did, in fact I've been meaning to ask, Maura would you move in with me? That house is perfect to start a family together." Jane asked hope high in her voice

"A family? You want to start a family with me, Jane?" Maura needed to make sure this was not a dream.

"Erm, yeah, why do you think I asked you to move in with me and why do you think I am laying in bed with you right now after having hours of mind blowing sex. Of course I want a family with you, we already practically have one anyway, what with all the time we spend together."

There was a pregnant pause between the two, and Jane began to fidget.

"Yes"

"Yes?"

"Yes I will move in with you and yes I want a family with you too"

"Thank the Gods, I was getting worried there for a minute." Jane said relief high in her voice.

"Oh and Jane, there is plenty more where that came from." Maura smiled seductively

"I have no idea what you are talking about doctor Isles." Jane smiled back full aware of what was to come next.

"Oh but you will find out soon Colonel Detective Rizzoli." And with that Maura straddled Jane's hips and threw the sheets off of herself revealing her beauty in full glory to Jane to take in. She leant in but before she could place a kiss onto Jane's lips she heard "We are going to be late to gnocchi night, aren't we?" She smiled before replying with a kiss that soon grew into much more. _This is it, new life, the life I will never leave again._ Both women though while enjoying and exploring each others bodies all over again. For them it was just a beginning. And both of them were sure it was going to work no matter what life throws at them.

_**This is only just the beggening ;) tell me if you want more.**_


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